Dragged myself into the shop at around eight this morning. Anthony was already there, reading the paper in his office. Coffee was already done.

“So, Stephen says to tell you he’ll have your supplements for next week ready by this afternoon. Don’t be surprised if he brings them here,” he said. He folded back the page he was reading and set it to the side. “You finish up the last of what you had this morning? He’ll want to take the bottles with him.”

I nodded. It never occurred to me to confess to my one skipped day. I’d emptied that bottle down the sink and then rinsed it out. Can’t have Ben reporting these little slips to Anthony, and I know he’s keeping an eye on me for that sort of thing.

See… those two conspire so well together.

And it works. It keeps me passably well and safe.

“And how is Ms. Cassidy?”

See.

I sat down on the loveseat, careful of my full mug to the point that I wouldn’t have to look at him. Yes, there was weather last night. Yes, Ben laid low in his room, listening to Amy Winehouse cds.

“She says she might be a couple of days late on the order. Trouble in paradise, apparently.” Yes, I always say just a little bit more than I want to say.

Anthony smirked at me, lifted the eyebrow a fraction.

“Look,” I said. “I’m the least threat to that domestic bliss.”

Anthony chuckled.

“As long as I get everything by Wednesday everything should be ok. Lots of custom requests this time, so I planned ahead for it. If it helps, call her and tell her to focus on the custom stuff. You can fill in the gaps in the case from that estate stuff we got in last month.”

“Pray for sunny skies.” I did say this with a smile on my face.

I actually try to go a month or so between distress calls. I swear.

Fucking weather.

I think I might have put my hand to my throat to hide my new garnet pendant.

Crazy storms last night.

I don’t like storms so much. Oh, I like the way they look enough, but there’s something about the way they feel that unsettles me. I get antsy. Sometimes I clean. Sometimes I make elaborate soups that require much fine hand chopping of vegetables. Sometimes I call Cassidy.

I should probably take up scrapbooking. But no way is it more fun than Cassidy during a storm.

Last night I called Cassidy.

The store is a hotspot. Over the years it has drawn our sort and other sorts to this area. I wish Stephen and Alex would have come up with this idea when Anthony and I were kids, instead of just, you know, forcing us to blend into what was available. I wish Jenit had stuck around long enough to see Anthony stand out among those who might be considered unusual.

Shit, though- he probably knew it all along. I wish he’d been stronger, then. He was so damn likeable.

But my fathers chose what they chose, and so I am fairly adaptable. I can make a hat and bag out of anything, and when the components are good, well, everyone wants one or both.

I waited what I felt to be an appropriate amount of time to try and hook Anthony up with someone. I did. I waited years. Jenit is a hard act to follow. I understand that.

Also, I admit that the first few guys I threw into his path were not perfect for him. Yes, they were pretty boho wannabes. Okay, I apologize to the world. They were pretty, though. Fascinating is never easy, right? To my credit, not one of them looked a bit like Jenit. I did try that hard.

And I admit that it might be a bit twisted to try so hard to throw your brother into a relationship. Fuck it, no I don’t. Anthony is happier when he’s with someone. That’s my theory.

When Jenit was around Anthony actually engaged with the people around him. He grinned like a fool. His voice was louder. He occasionally got up to mischief. He neglected to police me as hardcore as Stephen has always expected. I miss that.

I’m trying to build a really good motherfucking hat here. A better hat, when the old hat was just fanfuckingtastic.

Anyway, I liked Ben as a component from the first time he walked into the store.

I think I'll say, "Definitely having my supplement in the morning. Even if blueberry is all I have left."

I think I'll say, "Even if I have to gag to keep that shit down."

I think I'll say, "This is how it has been for us."

I think I'll say, "You know, I'm kind of tired."

I think I'll say, "I think I just need to sleep for a while."

Now I’m carrying this fucking laptop everywhere. Seriously, I only have a phone because Anthony and Stephen teamed up and decided that I needed one for my birthday. I only have the laptop because Ben decided he needed a new one… And now I hardly have room for a book or a wallet in my bag.

Fuck the phone, but I carry it just in case. They panic if they can’t find me these days.

I skipped my supplement this morning. Couldn’t face it. I feel a bit tired, but I’m okay. Hopefully I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

I think I'll say, "Look at us. I could be your mom."

I think I'll say, "Who the fuck are you?"

I think I'll say, "Thank you for allowing my fathers to dismiss you so easily."

I think I'll say, "Thank you for teaching me to cut and run."

I think I'll say, "I need a drink. Maybe a pill. Got any pills?"

I think I'll say, "So you're where these came from."

I think I'll say, "Thanks, I guess. People seem to like them."